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The Bible states if a person, male or female, looks upon another with lust, they have committed adultery, so from that standpoint, if that is a justifiable criteria for divorce, many couples have cause for divorce.
I was married 20 yrs. loved him, but thought he was not happy with me. I would like to tell all the females who hit on him, it never changed our sex life one iota. We simply abstained for a little while. I divorced him. We were going through so many crises, you would not believe.
There was no professional counselling available. (I actually think they planned our divorce ahead of time. I certainly did not want a divorce. Did not plan to divorce him at all. I had a fit of anger, hurt and neither of us could or would back down.) There were no illegal
drugs being used by us,and I had no emotional break down, nor am I crazy.
Crises:
1. Graduating from college. I sacrificed a lot to go to college, a lot. We had plans. 2. State Boards.
3. Son graduating high school, wanting to go to college.4. We were a little behind in bills. Could have caught up. Not entertaining bankruptcy thoughts.
5. Breaking into a new career, job hunting..Son needing a job.
6. I reported something to authorities.Stupidly.
7. Someone we knew had a crime committed against them, allegedly. We were not involved in any way, but were harassed and harassed over it. I was harassed and threatened in school over it, whether real or not.
8. We had tried to file lawsuits and were greatly
defamed by the defense, our reputations hurt, then the damage covered. We were law abiding people.
Christian. I am Christian conservative. So was he.
I don’t believe he was really messing around on me.
I think it was a misunderstanding. However, it all
played right into the hands of the ones we were trying to sue for gross defamation of character among other things.
I simply could not take any more. He hurt my feelings, and I filed for divorce. I lost my career, home,
everything but the kids, (they were most important) everything I had worked so long and hard for, my marriage of 20 years.The term “went ballistic” describes what I did.Act in haste , repent in leisure.
After I divorced him, there was no life. Would not let me work. Defamed me more,ruined completely. I moved all over trying to work, have a life. It was
not my husband who defamed me, but the ones we
tried to sue, to no avail.I had good secretarial skills then, knowledge of health care, received my RN license. Let it go.sent my license back due to the harassment, did not lose it. I graduated in good standing , I moved all over hoping to relocate, work, finish my education, date and marry to no avail. I was ruined. Ruined.
Then they had to cover the ruination. I was 39 when I graduated and divorced. I am 62. I have never recovered my peace of mind or reputation. Never
dated or remarried.Never recovered from what the defense of the lawsuits.. My husband did not do it to us. I was not homely then. I am overweight now due to quitting smoking and forced inactivity, I am having health problems. I am not able to work. After my divorce,unable to get work I did before marriage.(I didn ‘t want it, it was a last resort to apply for. The idea was that I would have to sue for a job and that would be compensation for all thedamage done to our reputations, all the loss. Assumption was I wanted my old job back. I did not.made fun of us as if we were not human, had no feelings, had no values, nothing. As if we were animals, bugs.) I Never had trouble getting work until I went to college and divorced. Has been a night mare all the way. This was not about OCD, mental illness, sexual activity, adultery.
We should have simply sold out and relocated, all
together. It was the only possible solution. Had
I any money, I would have taken the children and relocated. Night mare situation.
He left, could not get work. Came back. I was still mad and hurt and would not take him back. So, we lost our home, everything we worked so hard for. I lost my career, had to let it, go. The entire community gloated over it. THEY LOVED IT. Churches were vilely hateful to me. My daughter and I ended up in an apartment which was really horrible and uncomfortable the year around.When I remember that town, I think of a song
“A town without pity”. It was churches without pity, also. I did not deserve any of that treatment, we did not. I never saw a female done that way before.
It was simply revenge, hate and spite.
Have any of you had similar experiences.
iF YOU are thinking of divorcing, you and your husband need to sit down and work out a long plan in advance. I was not planning to do so. He was not that I know of.
There is a point where a person cannot take any more,
I wanted to get on with my life. Was never allowed to do so, and it was never to protect me. Nothing could have been more dangerous than what I went through.
It was not concern for my pe