NURSING QUESTIONS » Nurse Jokes http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog Nursing Tips and Nursing Videos Fri, 11 Nov 2011 01:04:53 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Santa Answer Medical Terminology- Joke … Did U Like It? http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/santa-answer-medical-terminology-joke-did-u-like-it/ http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/santa-answer-medical-terminology-joke-did-u-like-it/#comments Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:00:06 +0000 nursing http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/santa-answer-medical-terminology-joke-did-u-like-it/ Continue reading →]]> Sriram I Member since:
21 October 2007
Total points:
1370 (Level 3)
Add to My Contacts
Block User
Add to My Contacts
Block User
Open QuestionShow me another »
SANTA ANSWER MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY- Joke … Did U Like it?
Have you heard of Mr. Santa Singh applying to a medical school to become a doctor?
Needless to say he never made it. You know why?
These are the answers he wrote in his entrance exam.
************
Antibody – against everyone
Artery – The study of the paintings.
Bacteria – back door to a cafeteria.
Caesarean section – a district in Rome.
Cardiology – advance study of poker playing.
Cat scan – searching for lost kitty.
Chronic – neck of a crow.
Coma – punctuation mark.
Cortisone – area around local court.
Cyst – short for sister.
Diagnosis – person with slanted nose.
Dislocation – in this place.
Duodenum – couple in blue jeans.
Enema – not a friend.
Fake labour – pretending to work.
Genes – blue denim.
Hernia – she is close by.
Impotent – distinguished/well known.
Labour pain – hurt at work.
Lactose – people without toes.
Lymph – walk unsteadily.
Microbes – small dressing gown.
Obesity – city of Obe.
20 minutes ago – 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
19 minutes ago
Pacemaker – winner of Nobel peace prize.
Proteins – in favour of teens.
Pulse – grain.
Pus – small cat.
Red blood count – Dracula.
Secretion – hiding anything.
Tablet – small table.
Ultrasound – radical noise.
Urine – opposite of you’re out.
Varicose – very close
————————————–…
Did U Like It
————————————–…
A star Pls…. along with a funny One liner…. The best will get 10 points
Answer this Question

]]> http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/santa-answer-medical-terminology-joke-did-u-like-it/feed/ 3 I Find It Hard To Recognise Seriousness To A Joke, Is There Like A Medical Name For This? http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/i-find-it-hard-to-recognise-seriousness-to-a-joke-is-there-like-a-medical-name-for-this/ http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/i-find-it-hard-to-recognise-seriousness-to-a-joke-is-there-like-a-medical-name-for-this/#comments Wed, 24 Feb 2010 20:59:49 +0000 nursing http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/i-find-it-hard-to-recognise-seriousness-to-a-joke-is-there-like-a-medical-name-for-this/ Continue reading →]]> im a intellegent, social girl but im really slow on picking up when someones being serious or joking. and its started to get me into all kinds of situations with my friends. is this a medical like syndrome kinda thing or does it just happen? if so what is the medical name for it.

]]> http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/i-find-it-hard-to-recognise-seriousness-to-a-joke-is-there-like-a-medical-name-for-this/feed/ 3 Is Alpine College Medical Assistant A Joke? http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/is-alpine-college-medical-assistant-a-joke/ http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/is-alpine-college-medical-assistant-a-joke/#comments Sat, 20 Feb 2010 21:04:52 +0000 nursing http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/is-alpine-college-medical-assistant-a-joke/ Continue reading →]]> I am wondering of this school and program are legit they have a 9 month program and the community college has it for 2 years which is better? community or alpine? I just dont want to go 9 months only not to be able to find a job based on the poor training

]]> http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/is-alpine-college-medical-assistant-a-joke/feed/ 1 Why Joke About Coughing During A School Medical? http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/why-joke-about-coughing-during-a-school-medical/ http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/why-joke-about-coughing-during-a-school-medical/#comments Tue, 16 Feb 2010 20:59:36 +0000 nursing http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/why-joke-about-coughing-during-a-school-medical/ Continue reading →]]> i’ve known folk to joke about it but it never happend during my school medical.

]]> http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/why-joke-about-coughing-during-a-school-medical/feed/ 2 Medical Joke? http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/medical-joke/ http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/medical-joke/#comments Sat, 13 Feb 2010 21:57:18 +0000 nursing http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/medical-joke/ Continue reading →]]> Need Samples
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along.
When the doctor enters the examination room,
he tells the old man,
“I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample.”
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: “WHAT?”
“What did he say? What’s he want?”
His wife yells back, “He needs your underwear.”

]]> http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/medical-joke/feed/ 5 Joke About A Male Patient And A Student Nurse Please Read This!!!!!!!!? http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/joke-about-a-male-patient-and-a-student-nurse-please-read-this/ http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/joke-about-a-male-patient-and-a-student-nurse-please-read-this/#comments Tue, 29 Sep 2009 20:59:52 +0000 nursing http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/joke-about-a-male-patient-and-a-student-nurse-please-read-this/ Continue reading →]]> male patient is lying in bed in the
hospital, wearing a oxygen mask
over his mouth and nose. A young, student nurse appears to give him a
partial sponge bath. “Nurse”, he mumbles, from behind the mask.
“Are my
testicles black?”Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know,
Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”He struggles to ask
again, “Nurse, please check. Are my testicles black?”Concerned that
he
may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his
testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back thecovers. She
raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the
other. Then, she takes a close look and says, There’s nothing wrong with
them, Sir!”The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very
slowly,” Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very
closely……A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s – b a c k?

]]> http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/joke-about-a-male-patient-and-a-student-nurse-please-read-this/feed/ 11 What’s A Good Joke About Nurses Walking Into A Bar? http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/whats-a-good-joke-about-nurses-walking-into-a-bar/ http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/whats-a-good-joke-about-nurses-walking-into-a-bar/#comments Fri, 25 Sep 2009 21:00:23 +0000 nursing http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/whats-a-good-joke-about-nurses-walking-into-a-bar/ Continue reading →]]> My G/F is a nurse, and i want to make her and her nurse friends laugh.

]]> http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/whats-a-good-joke-about-nurses-walking-into-a-bar/feed/ 3 Joke: You Gotta Love A Good Nurse. ? http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/joke-you-gotta-love-a-good-nurse/ http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/joke-you-gotta-love-a-good-nurse/#comments Mon, 21 Sep 2009 20:59:24 +0000 nursing http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/joke-you-gotta-love-a-good-nurse/ Continue reading →]]> A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an
inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all
was well,
However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs
in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery the
doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull
his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making
him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his crotch hair were three wide strips of
adhesive tape, the kind that doesn’t come off easily. Written in
large black letters was the sentence:
‘Get well soon…..from the nurse in the Chrysler convertible you pulled over last week…’

]]> http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/joke-you-gotta-love-a-good-nurse/feed/ 2 And The Punchline Is “and The Nurse Says ‘i Heard You Tell The Other Guy”" What Is The Joke? http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/and-the-punchline-is-and-the-nurse-says-i-heard-you-tell-the-other-guy-what-is-the-joke/ http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/and-the-punchline-is-and-the-nurse-says-i-heard-you-tell-the-other-guy-what-is-the-joke/#comments Thu, 17 Sep 2009 20:59:41 +0000 nursing http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/and-the-punchline-is-and-the-nurse-says-i-heard-you-tell-the-other-guy-what-is-the-joke/ Continue reading →]]> there is an old man in a nursing home, he goes up to an old lady “i bet you can’t guess my age”
“73?”
“nope, i’m 92″ he goes up to another, “i bet you can’t guess my age”
“81″
“nope, i’m 92″ so he goes up to an old man “i bet you can’t guess my age”
“77?”
“nope, i’m 92″ so he goes up to the nurse, “i bet you can’t guess my age”
so the nurse reaches down his pants and feel all over his manly parts
“you’re 92″
“thats amazing, how in the world did you figure that out?”
“i heard you tell that other guy”…
the joke works a little better if its a lady in the home with him instead of a nurse in my opinion

]]> http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/and-the-punchline-is-and-the-nurse-says-i-heard-you-tell-the-other-guy-what-is-the-joke/feed/ 3 Joke Again -”backward Nurse”? http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/joke-again-backward-nurse/ http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/joke-again-backward-nurse/#comments Sun, 13 Sep 2009 20:59:28 +0000 nursing http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/joke-again-backward-nurse/ Continue reading →]]> Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about the new nurse.
“She’s incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards.” said one doctor. “Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!”
The second doctor said, “That’s nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy nearly exploded!”
Suddenly, they hear a blood-curdling scream from down the hall,
“Oh my gosh!” said the first doctor, “I just realized I told the new nurse to PRICK Mr. Smith’s BOIL!”

]]> http://www.nursingnet.org/nursingblog/joke-again-backward-nurse/feed/ 13